


In The Ground I Go, I Dug My Own Hole

by Skyelily1825



Series: Crossed lines [2]
Category: Oban Star-Racers
Genre: AU, Alcohol, Angst, Birth/Reincarnation, Character Death, Drinking, Gay Couple, Gen, Past Incest, Self-Hatred, happy-ish ending?, not a happy fic, some child neglect
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-09
Updated: 2018-07-06
Packaged: 2019-05-19 15:12:28
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,137
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14876150
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Skyelily1825/pseuds/Skyelily1825
Summary: Lines that have been crossed can not be uncrossed, now who will pay the cost?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> The first part is the last part from chapter 6 of part 1, I'm putting it here for those that might want to skip the sex and incest from that chapter.  
> I will make the separation between that and the actual start of this chapter more noticeable for those that did read chapter 6 and don't need or want to reread that part.
> 
> Look for the "... ♡♡♡♡♡♡ ..." To find where this chapter starts.

They're back at the summoning shack, it's been a month since Don knocked her up, not the time has come to summon her mother and finish this.

Aikka leads her to a now bloody room, using his claws to carve a new design into the ground. It's so intricate, with swirls and lines and symbols she's never seem. She watches, mesmerized by the design. Once he's finished he turns to her, telling her to go grab her mothers bones.

She nods, going to the other room and grabbing them, bringing them in and placing them where he tells her to. He nods, looking at it, noticing but not commenting on the broken bone.

"Good, now, lie next to the bones." She does, feeling the gouges in the wood beneath her. He nods again. "Now, just hold still and stay relaxed. I'm going to start now."

She closes her eye, keeping calm. She listens to his voice as he chants. Soon she can see the red behind her eyelids, she can feel the magic shooting up from the gouges, piercing and pinning her down. She takes some calming breaths, she knew it would feel like this, he warned and prepared her for it.

She loses track of time, pinned down like this. She doesn't know how long it takes before she hears the spirit.

"I hoped you wouldn't take things this far. I had hoped you'd turn back despite knowing you wouldn't." She sounds sad. "Eva, you're going to die down this path, and yours will not be the only life lost."

She wants to ask her what she means, but she can't find her voice.

"Enough talking spirit, just make this easy on her." She doesn't know what's happening, can't see it, but she can feel their energies. He is like the fires of his birthplace, and she like a gentle breeze. It doesn't take long for him to over power her and suddenly Eva's burning, she feels like she should be screaming.

It hurts. It hurts. It hurts.

Is she screaming? She can't tell anymore. All she feels is pain, she can't focus on anything past the pain. She can't feel the magic still binding her, silencing her so no one can hear and try to help. She can't hear Aikka's chanting, can't hear how hurriedly he speaks or how desperate he sounds. All show knows is pain.

She doesn't know how long it last before the pain fades away, leaving her numb and drained and so, so tired.

But she doesn't let herself rest, not yet. She forces her eyes open, finding she's in Aikka's arms. He sighs in relief, pulling her closer.

"Did it work?"

He nods, "yes, pet, it worked." She smiles tiredly up at him.

"Thank you."

He smiles fondly at her, petting her head. "Get some rest pet, you're going to need it." She nods a little, letting her eyes fall shut, drifting off into a sweet dream.

 

... ♡♡♡♡♡♡ ...

 

Months pass as Eva grows bigger, heavier, but also weaker. Her strength is stripped away from her, every last bit needed to keep the child in her growing. Aikka gives her special drinks, elixirs she knows are meant to help her. She always smiles, thanking him.

He doesn't leave her side, she's grown used to his wings wrapped around her or his arms holding her up. They both know the time is coming. They're both nervous, but do their best not to show it. Aikka is better at hiding it then she is.

...

The time finally comes, in the middle of the night. Eva wakes, Feeling a wetness between her legs. She feels weak, and there's pain, but she's felt worse. She forces her eyes open, looking around the dark room, she can barely see the wings that cover her like an extra warm blanket.

"Aikka" her voice is weak, but he hears her, his eyes snapping open. He looks at her, realizing what she already knows.

He scoops her into his arms, holding her close as he picks her up. He carries her out and spreads his wings, taking off. He flies to the hospital she picked, landing far enough away for it not to seem like she came out of no where and setting her on her feet. He helps her walk the rest of the way to the front doors.

As soon as she's in she starts to stumble, he catches her, but it's enoough to get the staff's attention. Soon there are nurses rushing to her, one with a wheel chair that they help her into. He stays by her as they wheel her through the building.

They're calling for doctors and getting her to an emergency birthing room. They try to reassure her she'll be okay. She just smiles weakly, she knows she's going die die, she's accepted that.

"Thank you, but please, focus on saving my baby. Her life is far more important to me." The nurse nod, promising they'll keep her baby alive.

They get her to her room, helping her into the bed. As they're all rushing around, getting everything she'll need ready she looks over at Aikka, smiling serenely. He reaches out to pet her hair. Neither say a word to each other, not because they can't, but because they don't need to.

She's at death's door, what would it matter what others would think if she started talking to herself. All that matters is the child she's birthing and the man she'll be with for eternity.

She turns to the nearest nurse. "Excuse me, miss?"

"Oh, yes, what do you need? Something for pain?" She tries to guess, but Eva shakes her head.

"No, I was wondering if I could start filling out her information? I already have her name picked out, and these things take a while, don't they?" The nurse nods, surprised, before going to get the paperwork and a pen.

**Birth Certificate**

Maya Luna Wei-Prince

 

Aikka raises an eye. They hadn't discussed what she intended to put on the birth certificate.

 **Mother's Name:** Eva Starla Wei

 **Father's Name:** Aikka Damon Prince

 

Aikka laughs at that, raising an eyebrow at her. "Very creative princess," his tone is slightly sarcastic. "But a very good idea. I suppose you can't exactly put his name there after all. I'd assumed you choose to leave it blank, but this might be better." She smiles, listening to him as she continues to fill out what she can, handing it to the same nurse as before.

She places a hand on her stomach, rubbing gently. Some would think that it would be over soon, and in a sense that was right, but only parcialy. Their plan would be finished, the pain would end, her mortal life would reach its end.

But that was only half the story. Her plan would be done, the pain gone, but in its place a new life would begin. A new story to unfold. She was giving her mother a second chance to live, though she doesn't know if the baby will remember that.

As for her, her mortal life would cease, but she wouldn't. Her soul would move on, to a better place then it's been. Her soul, herself, would be going to Hell with her prince.

She couldn't be happier.

When the time came she pushed and breathed and did just as the doctor instructed until she head the most beautiful words she had ever heard.

"It's a girl!"

They take her briefly to clean her off and wrap her in a warm baby blanket before placing her in Eva's arms. She smiles down weakly at her. Eyes that mirror hers looking right back up.

Her little Maya doesn't scream, but she whines, small tears streaming down her cheeks that Eva wipes away lovingly.

She leans forward to kiss her forehead, whispering with the last of her strength "I love you" before laying back, closing her eyes.

They both know she'll never open them again, and Maya screams. Someone takes Maya away so everyone else can work. They try to save her, but to no avail.

 

Aikka takes her hand. "It's time to go."

Eva is stairing at Msya as she screams and cries. "I didn't expect her to react like that. I wasn't sure if she'd still realize what was happening."

"Right now her memories from her past life are present, but blurry. She's confused. As she ages one of two things will happen, she'll either forget entirely, or she'll remember everything."

"I see." She keeps stairing at her. "I wish I could make her happy." He pulls her to his chest.

"She'll be alright, you already picked out who you want to raise her."

"We forgot the papers for that at home though, didn't we?"

"They'll find them. Besides, that couple has their own codies of the paperwork, and you put them on your emergency list. You don't need to worry, she's going to be safe and loved, alright?" She nods.

"Yeah, thank you."

"Now, let's go home to Hell, I have much to show you."


	2. Aftermath - Don

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "And yours will not be the only life lost."

The hospital Eva had chosen was the same one she'd been born in. It felt right to go there. Not in a "this is where I was born, this is where I'll die" way, she chose it because it was where her mother brought her into the world, so it seemed fitting to bring her back into the world in the same place.  
She didn't realize that they'd still have her birth records though, that was a set back. They didn't check her emergency list like she'd assumed they would. They called the one family member they had in their files, the one family member left to call.

...

8:00 a.m found Don Wei getting ready for work, as usual, when his phone started ringing. He grumbled, answering it.

"Yes? Who is it?"

"Is this Mr Don Wei?"

"Yes, who is this?"

"This is The Sanaerba Hospital, we regret to inform you that your daughter, Eva Wei, passed away early this morning at 3:17 a.m."

In that moment time seemed to stand still. Don couldn't believe what he was hearing. His daughter was dead? His little Eva? He hadn't seen her since she was five, and now? He knew he abandoned her, knew he'd likely never see her again, but now it was so final, permanent.

He was never going to see his daughter alive again. He could never apologize to her, he could never see her smile again. He didn't even know what her voice sounded like after growing up, and now he knew he never would.

 He realized then just how much he missed out on. Loose teeth, bedtime stories, art work on the fridge. He'd lost that, given it up to avoid the pain. That was back firing now. Now that he knew it was too late his head filled with questions he would never know now.

There was only one question he could ask that he knew he'd get an answer to, though whether he wanted that answer was another question entirely.

"H-how did she die?"

"Her cause of death is listed as pregnancy and labor complications, she was able to bring her daughter into the world before she passed though."

"A daughter? She had a baby?" He didn't know she'd been pregnant. Was she married? Was the baby with her father? Was she okay?

"Yes, she delivered a beautiful, healthy baby girl at 3:10 am, let's see," the quiet sounds of shuffling paper can be heard. "Yes, here it is. She filled out most of the birth certificate when she was placed in a room, so she was able to name her. Little Maya Wei-Prince."

A small, sad smile crosses his face. Maya, of course she'd name her after her mother. It's fitting.

A name that once brought him joy when he could hold the woman he loved in his arms, turned to despair when he no longer could. Now it's able to brighten an event that would otherwise bring nothing but pain.

"C-can I come see her?"

He may have walked out on Eva's life, but if he was given the chance he wouldn't make the same mistake. He'd be there for her daughter like he should have been there for her.

"Of course. If you wouldn't mind we actually would appreciate it if you took her home with you."

"What? Um, I don't mind, but what about her father?"

Why wasn't his granddaughter with her father? Where was the man that got his little Eva pregnant?

"We're having trouble finding out anything about Mr. Prince. If she doesn't go home with a guardian soon we'll have to contact social services and she'll be put in a foster home, at least until Mr. Prince or another family member can be found." He inhales sharply at the mention of Foster care.

"I'll take her, don't put her in the system. I'll be there as soon as I can."

"Alright Mr. Wei, we'll make sure little Maya is ready to go home." He thanks her before saying goodbye. He makes a quick call to work, telling them he won't be coming in today. He doesn't bother giving an explanation before hanging up and leaving.

...

He gets to the hospital in 45 mind, going straight to the front desk. "Hello, I'm Don Wei, I, I'm here about my granddaughter?" The word sounds so foreign when he said it. He never thought he'd have a grandchild, at least not one he'd get to know about.

 The receptionist smiles kindly at him, "of course sir, and what is your granddaughter's name?" She asks while typing something into her computer.

"Um, Maya, Maya Wei-Prince. She was just born here last night."

"Oh, yes, here it is." She's still smiling, though now her smile hold less cheer and more sadness. "She's on floor C, room 37."

"Thank you." He leaves, heading towards the nearest elevator. He gets in the first one he sees, pressing the 3rd floor button. He taps his fingers as he waits to get on the right floor.

This doesn't feel real. None of it feels real. His daughter is gone, she's gone and now he's got a granddaughter that's all alone in the world. But he won't leave her that way.

Not like he left Eva.

He walked down the hallway, counting the room numbers as he passed, until he reached room 37. He reached for the door handle when he realized his hand was shaking. He pulled back, taking a deep breath as he tried to calm his nerves.

He could do this, he had to. For Eva, for Maya, for the only family he had left. He would be strong enough, this time he would be. He'll hold it together for Maya, he'll be there for her.

He'll be strong for her.

He reaches out again, turning the handle and opening the door. He steps into the room to see a nurse bottle feeding a black haired baby wrapped in a pink blanket. She's so small, just like Eva was when she was born.

The nurse looks up as he approaches. "Excuse me sir, you can't be in here, only family and staff."

"I'm Don Wei, Eva," he pauses, feeling pained at his his daughter's name, "Eva's father. This is Maya, correct?" He peers at the infants face, looking into big, round ruby red eyes. "She, she looks just like her." Tears prick at his eyes as he looks at her.

"Would you like to hold her?" She offers, getting a nod. She pulls the now empty bottle away from the baby's lips, burping her before handing her over.

Don doesn't need to be instructed on how to hold her, he remembers. He smiles at the small bundle in his arms, feeling like he's stepped through a time machine, back to the last time he held a newborn little girl.

She stares at him at first, her eyes wide with curiosity, before they slowly start to droop. She yawns, her little mouth opening slightly, just enough for the small sound to escape. She smacks her lips together as she tries to keep her eyes open. But the struggle to stay awake is lost the second he starts rocking her, humming an old tune from so many years ago. She falls asleep in his arms.

The nurse smiles, taking the sleeping child from him and placing her in a tiny baby bed before leading him out to talk.

"I was told that you intend to take her home with you, is that correct?" He nods.

"Yes."

She smiles, "that's good to hear. Now, before we can release her to you there's some paperwork you'll need to fill out, and we'll need to verify your ID."

He nods, "of course."

"There's also one more thing." She doesn't seem as happy now.

"What is it?" Is something wrong? Was something wrong with his granddaughter? She looked fine, but not all illnesses were visible.

"It's about her mother." He takes a deep breath in, listening. "We'll be giving you the contact information for the morgue that Miss Wei was sent too, along with some funeral homes and planners, you'll need to call the number soon, preferably within the next day or two. As I'm sure you're already aware, as her only living relative that's old enough to handle this you'll be in charge of her funeral arrangements."

He nods, almost numbly. He wishes he could numb himself to this, if just for a moment. It hurts. "I-I understand."

"Alright, then in that case, I'll go get the paperwork."

...

He got to fill the paperwork out in little Maya's hospital room. He snuck peaks at her, smiling at her sleeping form, despite how terrified he was.

He promised himself he'd take care of her, for Eva, but that didn't stop the fear. What if he screwed up?  What if he hurt her like he hurt her mother? He wasn't the same man he'd been when Eva was born, he was sharper, louder, stricter.

What if he couldn't do this?

He looked at the filled out paperwork, still afraid of the train wreck this could be if he made another mistake. He looked back over to Maya and knew it'd be a bigger mistake to leave her too.

_Don't leave me too, daddy._

No, he wouldn't leave her, he wouldn't make that mistake again. When the nurse came back he gave her the paperwork.

"Would it be okay if I went to the store before taking her? I don't have a car seat for her. I didn't think to get one on the way in my rush."

She nods. "Of course. We'll get this filed in our system while you're gone."

He thanks he, looking relieved, before heading out.

...

While Don had only intended on getting a car seat and maybe some diapers he ends up taking another trip down memory lane. While things have changed a lot in the past two decades, some thinks always stay the same.

He sees the toy aisles, filled with the same toy cars and star racers. Eva used to love those, always pretending to be a pilot just like her mother.

He sees the plushies, picking up a pink bunny, just like the one she used to sleep with at night. He puts it in the cart, along with a few other toys, including some plush star racers. He wonders if Eva had still liked star racers? Had she grown up still wanting to be like her mother or did she find a new passion?

It hurt that he'd likely never know, but he did his best to ignore it, at least for now. He moved on and saw the clothes. Maya would need clothes. He looked and picked out several outfits when he stopped at one. It was a little pink dress with slightly ruffled sleeves. It looked so much like the one Eva had loved as a little girl, only smaller.

He moved on, trying to hurry now. He grabbed the car seat, some baby blankets, and a large package of baby diapers. He went to the front to pay before leaving as quickly as he could.

...

6:30 p.m found Don at home with Maya. Now that he had her he wasn't sure what to do. He had to stop at the store again to buy her baby food and formula, along with bottles,  bids, and thanks to the advice of a found mother burp clothes.

He was relieved when she took the formula easily, he'd been worried that she might cry. With every action he feared she'd start crying, but the most she did was sniffle sadly. She seemed to want him to hold her when she got too sad, so he did.

He couldn't help but wonder if she somehow understood what she'd already lost in her short life.

...

 It was with a pained, reluctant sigh that Don called one of the funeral homes early the next day. It hurt knowing what he was having to call about. Even with Maya living with him it hadn't felt real yet. He still couldn't believe his little Eva was gone, no matter what others said.

But soon he'd see the proof, he knew. He'd have to see her body eventually.

...

Later that day, after quickly getting Maya a baby sitter, Don went to the funeral home. He still didn't know what he was going to do with Eva's body.

He was greeted by a funeral home attendant who led him to a private room. He took a seat at the table as the attendant went to get someone else. When he returned it was with a female he learned was a funeral planner.

She smiled kindly at him as she began speaking, asking him questions and helping him plan. They decided on a small, private funeral and that she'd be buried next to her mother by the end of the week. She advised him to go to Eva's former address, or have someone he trusted go for him, to pick out what she'd be burried in.

...

He didn't even know where she lived. That hurt. He had to call the hospital to see if they had any of her information on file. While they didn't have her address they did have her number, which he was able to use to find out her address. But he couldn't go there, he couldn't bring himself to go.

What if she had pictures hung up or on display? He wasn't ready to see the life he walked out on. He called someone.

...

Rick looked at his phone, recognizing the number. "What do you want Don? I already told you I'm not coming back to your team."

"It, it's not about that. I need a favor."

Rick raised an eyebrow, something didn't sound right. "Yeah? What kind of favor?"

"I need you to go to an address. My, my daughter's address."

He sat up, "you have a daughter?"

There was a pause before "had. I had a daughter. I don't anymore. I need to pick out something for her to be buried in, but I," he pauses again, "I can't go there. I can't go in there."

"Whoa, um, okay." He takes a breath, "I'll go, what's the address?" He writes down the address as Don lists it off before hanging up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, this took a lot longer to write then I thought it would. I was going to make it longer even, but I feel like it just got so much longer then I thought it would so I guess I'll save the second half of what I was planning for the next chapter.


	3. Aftermath - Don part 2

Rick went to the address he had written down, arriving at an apartment complex. He went in and went straight to the front desk. "Hey, did you have a tennent here with the last name Wei?"  
"Huh? You mean Eva? Yes, she lives here. Who- wait, aren't you Rick Thunderbolt?"  
"Yeah, back to miss Wei, what room was she in? And do you guys have a spare key in case she left the door locked?"  
"Um, yes, but I don't understand. How do you know Eva?"

Rick sighs, putting his head in his hands. "I didn't know her, she passed away and I know her dad, he asked me to get some things from her apartment."

The desk attendant looks sad, but somehow not shocked. "She passed away? I'm so sorry, did her baby at least make it?"

"Her baby? Um, her dad didn't tell me about any kids."

"Well, she was heavily pregnant, due any time, but it seemed like the pregnancy was making her sick. She made some arrangements for the little girl in case she didn't make it."

"Huh, well, I don't know what to tell you. I didn't know anything about the kid till now."

"It's okay, I'm friends with the couple she picked out for her baby, so I'll find out." She smiles, "I promised Eva I'd help them spoil her after all. Now," she turns to a drawer behind her, rummageing around before she pulls out a key with a room number on it. "Eva's apartment is on the third floor, number 4."

"Thanks." He heads to the elevator, pressing the floor button, quickly finding the room once on the third floor and letting himself in. He looks around , seeing very little to indicate that the room had had anyone living here for long. The walls were bare, and furniture scarce. He walked through the empty living room to the bedroom, hopping there might be more in there.  
He sighs a little in relief at the sight of the bed and a computer desk with a laptop on it and a fold-able chair in front. At least it was something. He heads to the closet, looking inside. There are some shirts and pants hung up, the style giving the impression of a goth or punk, but there were some nicer looking clothes. He finds a little black dress with simple red embroidered flowers around the hem. That should be good enough for what Don needed.  
As he grabs that dress he notices a small shelf behind it with a single thick book on it. He grabs that, quickly realizing it's a photo album. He opens it, finding an old family picture first. He can barely remember when he'd seen Don so young, and he knows he's never seen him that happy. He looks at the little girl in the picture, figuring she must be Eva. She looked so sweet and happy. He would expect those two in a family picture, now that he knows Don had a daughter, and he would have also expected the mother, he just didn't expect who the mother was.

"Maya?" He remembered her. He'd never met her, but he used to watch her races, up until that last one. He forces himself to turn to another page, not wanting to think about how such a happy looking family could have been torn apart so badly. He skips to the middle, skipping anymore childhood pictures. The page he lands on shows a beautiful young woman with shoulder length black hair, dyed red at the top, and powerful red eyes. He can tell just from the picture that she must have been a confident and determined young woman.

He brings it with him, along with the dress before leaving, making sure to re-lock the door. He gives the key back to the desk attendant before exiting the building and driving away. He pulls out his phone during the drive, calling Don. "Hey, old man, I got the dress, I'm heading over to your place now. I'll be there in 15."

...

Don's waiting outside for him when he gets there, though he looks to be in a daze. Rick walks up to him, calling out to him to snap him out of his thoughts. Don shakes his head, looking at him.  
"Hey, here's the dress, how you holding up?"  
"I-I'm fine, as good as can be expected. Thank you" he takes the dress, looking it over. He wonders if Eva liked this dress, or if she only wore it for special occasions. The question just reminds him of why he couldn't go. The life he missed out on, the life he walked out on, all the things he'll never get to know now that she's gone. He jumps when he feels a hand on his shoulder, looking at Rick. He coughs a little into his hand, trying to cover up any awkwardness. "I'm fine, really. Thank you."

Rick takes his hand back. "If you're sure. I also grabbed this," he holds out the photo album. "I thought you might want it. There wasn't much in her apartment, I don't think she lived there for very long. This was the only personal thing I saw, I figured it must have been important to her."

Don takes it, holding it like it might disappear. Rick doesn't wait for a response, figuring he'd need some alone time. He walks back to his car, looking back at Don he calls out "call me if you need me!" He waits a moment to make sure Don heard him before getting in his car and driving away.

...

Later that night, once Maya's fast asleep Don takes a seat in the living room, holding the photo album. He opens to the first page, seeing a familiar picture. He traces a finger over the image of his wife and daughter, feeling his eyes water. He's the only one left alive from this picture.

He turned the page to see newspaper articles, his own face smiling back at him. He stares at the clip outs. He'd expected pictures of his sweet Eva growing up, not this. Why would she have these? Was she proud of him? How long had she had these. Surely this wasn't something recent. Maybe she was proud when she was little, proud to say her dad was the best racing manager, just like she'd been proud to say her mom was the best pilot.

He turns to the next picture, it's a school picture. She looks about 7 in it, with pouting lips and messy hair. She looks annoyed to be having her picture taken, or maybe annoyed at something being said to her about her appearance. He wishes he could hear the story behind that, but he knows he never will. A picture may say a thousand words, but a thousand words isn't enough to fill in the blanks of a lifetime, even so he turns the page. He hopes he can at least learn a little about the daughter he lost.

The next few picture show her between the ages of 7 and 15. Bruises from running around, maybe from roughhousing with boys? Scrapes and cuts that he'll never know where they came from. Wet hair with a soft smiling face. Dry, styled hair and an annoyed pout. She looks annoyed in most of her pictures. She looks annoyed in all of her school pictures. Scrapes and bruises start to turn into grease smears across skin, a wench kept in hand. He raises an eyebrow at that. What did she use grease and a wrench for?

His question was answered by a later picture. She must be 18 in it, but he can't see her face. She's standing in front of a rocket scooter, a motorcycling helmet on her head. She's flashing the peace sign with her fingers, the open road behind her. She must have just graduated. He smiles, proud of her. Even with everything she went through she still persevered. He knows he'll never know everything, but at least he'll be able to tell Maya her mother was strong and independent.

 That proud feeling stays with him for a few more pictures, all of them showing off her helmet and not her face. Pride quickly turns to horror when he finally comes across one where her face is clearly visible. He pales at that too familiar face, feeling his blood run cold. Memories of that face, that face he shouldn't know, flood his mind. That face flushes, mouth open, eyes shut. That face gasping. That face moaning. That face calling out a name he didn't know, didn't want to know.

He drops the album, his whole body shaking as he gets up. "No," he shakes his head, backing away from the album. Away from the pictures. Away from those horrible memories.

He keeps backing away, bumping into a wall and knocking a picture frame down. The glass shatters at it hits the ground, the sound enough to wake Maya. Don staggers out of the room, going to check on Maya.

He stands above her bassinet, looking down at her as she cries. He doesn't touch her, can't touch her. He can only stare as the dots connect in his mind. Maya, born to his daughter and a missing father, born nine months after what he'd dubbed 'the mistake'. Maya, who looks so much like Eva, as though little to no new dna was was combined, as though she already shared some of the same features as the man she made Maya with.

Maya looks at him, red eyes watery and scared, whimpers escaping her mouth. All he can do is back away and run to the restroom to vomit. He doesn't go back to that room, hearing Maya cry and scream until she falls back to sleep.

...

He goes numb. For the next few day while he's planning Eva's funeral he's numb. It's the only way he can get through this. Everyday he gets Maya a nanny, and every night she cries herself to sleep. He can't bring himself to look at her anymore, every time he does he remembers what he did, as vivid and real as if it were happening again.

He's actually relieved when the funeral comes. He can see her lying there, in her casket, looking just as beautiful as she did nine months ago. It makes him feel sick, in more ways then one. He is relieved when they close the casket, though it does nothing to chase away his demons. He watches as they lower her into the ground, watches as they cover her with dirt.

He stays long after they're done and gone, staring at the freshly piled dirt until nightfall. He leaves, sick and numb to go home to a child that he can't look at. He pays the nanny, sending her home despite her insistence that he doesn't look good, that she could stay, that he looks like he needs it. He won't have any of it though, he needs to be alone.

As soon as she's gone he goes to the kitchen, grabbing a bottle of wine. He's got a good collection of fine wines, but tonight he doesn't care to pick a favorite. He just wants to get drunk. He wants to forget, at least for a little while.

Even as he drinks though he can't escape the thoughts running, screaming through his mind. Would things have been different if he never left her? Or if he had called or visited? Would things have been different if he'd been a better dad? Was this his fault?

He tried to drown those thoughts out by chugging the wine straight from the bottle, ignoring the burning as it splashes and slides down his throat.

Self hatred, the same self hatred that blamed him for Maya's death screamed at him. Yes, it was all his fault. He gulps down more wine, quickly finishing the first bottle and grabbing another as the stream of hateful, shameful thoughts rage on inside his mind.

He left her, abandoned her. He didn't recognize her. It didn't matter that she used a fake name, she was his daughter, he should have recognized her. He was the one that asked her to see him, without telling her what he was thinking. She didn't know, couldn't have know what was going to happen. He started it, he wanted it. He caused this. It was his fault.

Before he knows it he's chugged down two more bottles. He staggers, swaying on his feet as he reaches for more. He doesn't want to think, but the thoughts continue anyways.

He made this happen. He destroyed his family. He caused his wife's death. He ruined his daughter's life, then caused her death too. What would he do to Maya? What was he already doing to Maya? Letting her cry herself to sleep, not looking at her or giving her the time of day. He just hands her off to someone else to raise, just like he did with Eva.

He fumbles as he reaches for the wine, knocking it over and onto the ground where it shatters loudly. He looks down at the wasted wine before hearing Maya's cries. He turns and tries to stumble his way around, only to slip in the puddle of wine. He feels himself falling, too fast to stop it but too slow in his mind. There's a thump as his head hits something on the way down. He looks at the world from the flood, tinted red. Maya only cries louder at the added noise, but he can barely move.

"M-maya" he fumbles, reaching for his phone as the world starts to go fuzzy. He manages to hit the call button just before the world goes black.

"Don? Hey, what's up?

Don? Hey, old man, answer me! What's going on over there?"


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I was going to do more with this chapter, but I'm not really sure how. If I can flesh out what I planned a little more I might make a one shot part 4 at some point.

Rick drove like a mad man after that call. All he could hear was a baby crying, he figured it must have been the one the desk attendant had asked about, though he hadn't realized Don had her. Why wasn't she with whoever her mother chose to raise her? And more importantly why was she crying like that over the phone?  
He felt like he couldn't get there fast enough. As soon as he got to the driveway he parked his car and threw the door open, running to the front porch.  
He tried to open the door, only to find it licked. He could still hear the kid crying. Why was she still crying? Where was Don? He started banging his fist on the door.  
"Hey, old man! Where are you? What's going on in there?"  
No response. He kept banging his fist.  
"Don! What's wrong? What happened? Answer me!"  
His fear grows as he continues to hear no answer. The only sounds are his fist on wood and a screaming baby, her wails only growing louder.  
"Don, I'm coming in even if I have to break this door down!" He yells, meaning what he says. He starts throwing himself at the door, slamming his right side against it as hard as he can until it gives under the force. It makes a loud, crashing, creaking sound as it breaks from it's hinges. He climbs over what remains of the door, following the wailing until he comes to the room he knew used to be Don's study. He opens the door, looking inside. The furniture he knew was still there, but pushed to the side to make room for a little pink baby bassinet.

He approaches the bassinet quietly, peering inside to see the little girl for the first time. She looks up at him, eyes wide and wet, cheeks puffy. She looks the picture of misery.

"Hey there little one, it's okay now. I got'cha" he carefully picks her up, holding her close to his chest and rubbing her back until she calms down, her wails turning to quiet hiccups. "There now, that's better."

After she falls back to sleep Rick lays her down and begins looking for Don. He goes from room to room, calling out his name just loud enough to be heard in a room, but not loud enough to wake the sleeping baby. His concern grows as the minutes pass.

 As he nears the other side of the house he starts to notice a smell in the air. It doesn't take long to recognize the scent as alcohol. He keeps moving, approaching the kitchen. The smell grows stronger, thicker, the closer he gets.

He scans the room as he walks in, seeing nothing at first, that is, until he steps in something. He looks down, seeing the alcohol he was smelling, along with shards of shattered glass.

He walks around the glass and alcohol as best as he can, following the puddle to its source with his eyes. His eyes widen when he sees Don, lying on his side behind the island counter, blood bathing half his face.

"Don!" rushes to him, forgetting to be quiet. He checks for a pulse only to find nothing. He listens for breathing, getting the same result. "No."

He grabs his phone, calling for an ambulance.

...

The ambulance got there as quickly as it could, but it was already too late. His cause of death was written off as blunt head trauma. Rick couldn't believe what he was hearing, the man that gave him his start in racing, however much of a bastard he may have been, was dead.

"What's gonna happen to the kid?" He asked as he saw the little girl being taken away.

"She's going to be put in Foster care until we either find another relative or until she's adopted."

"I think her mom had a couple picked out for her, at least that's what the desk attendant at her apartment building said."

"Is that right?" She smiles a little, "thank you for telling me that, I'll look into that as soon as possible."

He just nods a little, "yeah, no problem."

...

Rick drove home, much slower then he left. He still couldn't wrap his mind around what happened. Don was dead. He drank himself instead a stupor. He fell and hit his head so hard it killed him before he could get there, before an ambulance could get there.

He guesses it makes some sense. He just buried his daughter, that's pretty good reason to drink. But he had a baby.

Rick shook his head, trying and failing to shake the thoughts from his head. He knows it won't work.

...

A few days later child protection services is able to locate the couple Maya was meant to go to. They already passed all the background checks and we're ready for her. The social worker is happy to give little Maya over to her new daddies.

"Congratulations," she smiles as she hands Maya over to a young man with black hair and glasses. He cradles her in his arms, looking at her like she's the most precious, beautiful child he's ever seen. His partner, a taller, tanner male with red hair wraps an arm around his shoulder, smiling down at the little girl as she blinks up at him.

"She's beautiful."


End file.
